Fact: All of us have days when we are shitty parents.
Yes, I'm mostly a rock star when it comes to raising my children, but there are days when I would like a do over. I had one of those recently.
I dropped a major F-bomb at one of my children . . . in front of my other two children.
I felt immediate and swift regret. And shame. I felt like a loser. I can only imagine how my child felt.
It came out of frustration. And anger. That's not to justify it . . . nothing a child does justifies asinine behavior by an adult. But I need to understand what made me snap because I don't want to do it again. I don't want to feel that way again . . . nor do I want my child to ever feel that way again.
I was frustrated because while I have three very smart children, one occasionally chooses to turn off their brains and take the easy route. We are halfway into the first 9 weeks of school, and I'm tired of the excuses. All of which are invalid.
I'm tired of the constant reminding and harassing and negotiating that comes with homework. I've met with the teacher and have confirmed that my child is in fact a bright, sweet and perfectly capable child. My exact quote in my moment of shame was something along the lines of this . . . "You need to turn on your f'ing brain."
Apparently, so do I.
Save your criticism and judgment . . . I've done enough of that to myself. I wasn't even sure I should talk about this here, but one day I want my child to read this and know how bad what I said hurts my own heart . . . knowing it hurt theirs.
Of course I apologized. I talked about how just because I was angry, I had no right to say such a naughty thing. I didn't grow up hearing that word, and I don't want my children to either.
I felt forgiven by all of my children. They are pretty awesome like that.
I'm just not sure I've forgiven myself . . . yet.
I saw this recently, and it hit home. I'm trying very hard to be a good mother, certainly not perfect. But good. It's a journey . . .

Yes, I'm mostly a rock star when it comes to raising my children, but there are days when I would like a do over. I had one of those recently.
I dropped a major F-bomb at one of my children . . . in front of my other two children.
I felt immediate and swift regret. And shame. I felt like a loser. I can only imagine how my child felt.
It came out of frustration. And anger. That's not to justify it . . . nothing a child does justifies asinine behavior by an adult. But I need to understand what made me snap because I don't want to do it again. I don't want to feel that way again . . . nor do I want my child to ever feel that way again.
I was frustrated because while I have three very smart children, one occasionally chooses to turn off their brains and take the easy route. We are halfway into the first 9 weeks of school, and I'm tired of the excuses. All of which are invalid.
I'm tired of the constant reminding and harassing and negotiating that comes with homework. I've met with the teacher and have confirmed that my child is in fact a bright, sweet and perfectly capable child. My exact quote in my moment of shame was something along the lines of this . . . "You need to turn on your f'ing brain."
Apparently, so do I.
Save your criticism and judgment . . . I've done enough of that to myself. I wasn't even sure I should talk about this here, but one day I want my child to read this and know how bad what I said hurts my own heart . . . knowing it hurt theirs.
Of course I apologized. I talked about how just because I was angry, I had no right to say such a naughty thing. I didn't grow up hearing that word, and I don't want my children to either.
I felt forgiven by all of my children. They are pretty awesome like that.
I'm just not sure I've forgiven myself . . . yet.
I saw this recently, and it hit home. I'm trying very hard to be a good mother, certainly not perfect. But good. It's a journey . . .
