Thursday, January 23, 2014

Birds and the Bees

My middle child got "the talk" last week.  Yes, THAT talk.  Getzy took him out to a local sports bar/restaurant where they hung out, ate, played darts and finally . . . grossed Kyle out!
This guy . . . so darn cute . . . and smart . . . and funny!
Getzy gives the talk because he's the dude . . . I get to give the talk to Amanda.  It will be the exact same week in 2016 when she will get it.  Ryan got it the same week in 2013.  We're on a schedule like that.

Ok, we aren't really that OCD (maybe a little) . . . it's because when my kids are in 5th grade, they take a three day class over Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend at a local church called Created by God.  They learn it all.  ALL.  No stone is left unturned in the sexy time department. 

It's a long weekend, but so worth the time.  The man who created the program, Dr. James Ritchie (the kids call him Dr. J.), has taught it over 130 times to over 3,000 kids.  I'm so thankful my kids have had the opportunity to attend. 

There are student sessions, parent sessions and student/parent sessions.  Boys and girls are in the same big room learning the same things . . . that way boys learn about girl stuff and vice versa.  It's faith based but not preachy.  All lifestyles are discussed without judgment. 

Getzy and I attended together so Kyle knows we are a united front and that he can come to both of us with questions.  The goal is to create an open environment where the child feels like he can talk about anything.  

I like to think I'm a professional . . . that's based on the fact that I received an A in my college Human Sexuality class.  I was one of 6 people (out of like 200) that got to exempt out of the exam for my high grade.  So duh, I have credentials. 

Kyle seems to have taken it all in stride.  He's had a few questions and general commentary.  I was driving him home after class one day and he says, "Mom, now that I know how a baby comes out, it's kinda gross." 

I agreed, but then I had what I felt was a serious parenting win.  I told him that when you think past the "gross," it really is a miracle from God.  I told him how cool I thought it was that my body carried a life until it was ready to live on it's on, and then my body brought it into this world.  And what Dad and I created was a living, breathing, thinking, feeling person . . . amazing.  He was quiet for a moment and then said, "It's gross to a kid, but I can see where a grown up thinks it's a miracle."  Very sweet. 

I also shared with him how I thought babies came out of belly buttons when I was a kid.  He said that's what he thought too. 

I don't remember having a "sex" talk with my parents, but I did get a book with pictures.  And with the magic of the Internet, here it is!

I remember being so fascinated.  And I vividly remember the "paper" pictures . . . tasteful, yet simple, right?
These images clear things right up . . . or not.
Those naughty chickens.  Don't forget, I had chickens growing up so now I knew exactly what they were doing.  Eeeewwww.

I did get the "period" talk from my mom.  You know those defining moments in life seered into your memory where you remember where you were and what you were doing . . . we were driving in our big, blue van one evening out shopping and she gave me the deets. 
Our looked just like this but blue . . . fancy, right? 
Truth be told, my neighborhood friend spilled the beans way before my mom got around to it.  She was a couple years older and wiser and was kind enough to fill me in.  And just like Kyle, I remember finding it so hard to believe and declaring it gross. 

Times are changing . . . my babies are growing up.  I know this is a good thing, but some days I wish I could turn back time.  And in keeping with the throw back theme, I think it's time to introduce Kyle to some old school 90's with Salt-N-Pepa . . .
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  1. I love everything about this post! And that song is AMAZING!

  2. I got the book "Where Did I Come From?" See How surprised I was to learn many, many years later that it was written by Peter Mayle, of "A Year in Provence" fame!