Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Recommended Husband App

Let's just get right to it . . . what app does Getzy, and all the husbands of the world, need to install on their phone, like yesterday?  
A period tracker.  Uh huh, I just said that.

Why does anyone need an app for that?  Don't we all have calendars and can make a note?  
I'm pretty sure most of us use a digital calendar so I'd have use the search feature to find the day when my last one started.  And then what would I call it?  Period is so boring.  So I'd make up a catchy name and then forget it because there are so many from which to choose.  Side eye.  Are people making fun of us ladies?

I took a survey . . . of one (myself) . . . and it turns out I'm a damn delight most of the time.  Got that?  I didn't say all, I said most . . . because I know my limits.  
But there are a few days a month where I'm, let's just say, not myself.  Inevitably when I think the whole world is full of stupid people and I start to mentally decorate my own single lady apartment, I check the app and it is almost always 3 days until my lady time.  

Is it better to PMS with rage or tears?  Ponder that.  I suppose tears would garner the sympathy or needy vote, but alas, I have the rage.  It's inherent . . . technically the choice wasn't really mine.

You know what would be awesome though?  Some leniency during those 3 days because I CAN'T HELP IT!  All women recognize the irrational behavior of PMS, but we are powerless to stop it.  Like I know when I'm in a rage that it's unreasonable, but I can't stop and am usually so worked up I don't care.  And don't you dare ask me if I'm PMS'ing.  I will literally cut you.  
So, it was my brilliant idea that Getzy install this app on his phone so he, too, would know why my head starts to spin over seemingly unimportant things, like say the way he walks in the door and breathes.  And then he would do all the kind things to settle me down like fix dinner, draw me a hot bubble bath, bring me a chilled glass of wine and just tell me to relax and rest.  

It's a reasonable request, right?  Agreed, thank you.  

So guess who does NOT have the app on his phone?  But that's fine, it can be a fun little guessing game each month.  Am I right?  Gah, he's a lucky guy.  Or is it the other way around?

So, that was one big confession today . . . linking up with Kathy and Nadine for humpday!  
More Coffee Less Talky

Monday, January 25, 2016

Quick & Dirty Weekending

Monday, Monday . . . nah nah, nah nah nah . . . anyone old enough to know that tune?  No?  Figures. 
Y'all.  It really did snow!  Isn't is so lovely when the snowflakes are falling and the ground starts to turn white?  I don't know the official tally, but it was around an inch.  Plenty for my kids to enjoy . . . and get all their clothes dirty.  

We had dinner out with friends at our favorite Mexican restaurant Friday night.  Kyle went home with them so it was only Ryan and Amanda who braved the temperatures to play in the snow.  Amanda says, "Mom, I built a snowman."  Seriously, southern kids just make do. 
She called him Jeffrey . . . he stuck around longer than the rest of the snow!
Sometimes when Getzy is out of town, Amanda asks to sleep in my bed.  She loves to cuddle with Petey and this is how I found them Saturday morning.  So sweet.  
His head is buried in there near her head . . . melts my heart.
Unexpectedly, it snowed again Saturday morning.  Time to head back out to play with the neighbors.  Abby will beg me to take her outside when the kids are playing, and she loves the snow.  I put on my new ski bibs and headed outside too.  Confession . . . I left my pajamas on underneath so I could be lazy afterwards.  Look at these two cuties.  
Pretty in pink!
I was sad that my Kyle wasn't home to play with his siblings, but I know he had so much fun with his friend.  He had to be coerced into wearing weather appropriate clothes . . . it's odd to see him so covered up!  That kid wears shorts and a hoodie every damn day.  He says he's never cold.  My friend put the hammer down though . . . her house, her rules.  True that!
These guys look like total professionals.  
Ryan wanted to meet some friends in the green space near our neighborhood around 11 ish on Saturday.  It had stopped snowing and the streets looked pretty good so I said it was fine.  I backed Proud Mary out and got her in 4 high in case the roads were slippery.  I was so proud of myself.  Turns out I didn't need it so I put it back to normal, but it felt like a boss to know what I was doing!

After the snow stopped, the wind was crazy.  I was stressing out about Getzy landing safely, but he made it home to us safe and sound!  We were all so happy to see his face!  Amanda made him a Welcome Home Daddy sign for the door so that made him happy.  No pictures . . . oh well.

Kyle and some friends of mixed company had a little fun at a new jumping place on Saturday.  I have a cute picture, but I don't really know all the parents so I won't post to protect the innocent.  As if tweens/teens are ever innocent!  Ha!

Since my ski trip was cancelled, Getzy and I got to attend a friend's 40th birthday party (shout out Amy).  I find it super ridiculous she's not 40 yet anyway so I happily welcomed her to the club!  We started at a local micro brew and then headed back to their house to continue the party!  Good times!
No clue what I'm doing, but I was having a good time for sure!
And I feel really bad for her since she clearly doesn't have any friends.  Ha!  Her husband (shout out Pete) did such a great job planning her party . . . so many good friends and fun memories.  I may have to kick it old school and throw down a #blessed.  

Sunday was pretty chill . . . grocery shopping, Girl Scout meeting and friends over for chicken parm.  Overall a good weekend, but I was super ready for my kids to go back to school.  That's not usually like me, but they were on my nerves last night. So this morning I was all like buh bye and off they went!  Weekend out.

Linking up with Bianca for the weekend review!

P.S.  I think one of my favorite teens is celebrating her birthday today, so I'm sending her a huge shout out and some serious love!  Miss you Madelyn, and you're going to rock it at WEF!

Friday, January 22, 2016

Let's talk about the weather

Seems the east coast weather is what's trending right now so let's discuss how that affects my world!  I've been watching You Tube videos this week on "How to Ski" to refresh my memory for my Scout ski trip this weekend . . . all for nothing.  Due to a winter weather travel advisory, we had to postpone our ski trip until March.  I'm super sad about having no plans this weekend and not hanging out with 20 teen boys.  
My kids went to bed happy because our county is closing school 2 hours early due to the 'possible' impending weather.  Truth be told, minus one measly blizzard a couple of years ago that wrecked the city (I jest, it was a BFD, read about our experience here), nothing ever really comes from these snow predictions here in the south.  And if it wasn't enough that 4,000 of my closest friends posted it repeatedly on Facebook, who doesn't want a text, cell call and house call simultaneously at 10:15 at night to tell me the same eff'ing thing.  I got it.  Honestly, it will make me feel better to have all my kids home with me safe and sound. And I'm super excited that starts two hours earlier.  
Getzy is in London for work (sucka).  His flight home may get cancelled, obviously depending on the weather.  Well, if he can't make it out, they are sending him to Paris to work for a few days.  It's cool.  I'm not jealous.  I'll just stay home and take care of the dogs and kids.  I don't like to travel anyway.  Said no wife ever.
Referring back to You Tube and possible snow, I gassed up Proud Mary (the Jeep - you can find her story here) yesterday and then watched You Tube videos on how to put it in 4 wheel drive.  Getzy always drives when it's snow or mud, and I never paid attention on how he got it to 4x4.  Well he's out of town and big mama needs to know so bring on the wintery mix, I'm ready to rescue people and save lives . . . from the comfort of my warm house.  But if necessary, I can do this!  I'm pretty sure anyway. I can feel his panic from across the ocean at the idea of me out 4 wheeling in his Jeep.  
I will say that if you are stuck, you'd probably rather be at my house.  No milk or bread over here.  We got wine, corn dogs, gallons of ice cream, Nutella, chips and queso, oh and apples.  I was hungry when I went to the store with half of the city this morning.  I really didn't need anything . . . I like to keep a stocked pantry any way. I got some healthy stuff too . . . but all this talk of snow makes me wanna eat.
Well, stay safe out there.  Make a snow angel and sit by the fire . . . call me if you get stuck.  I have 0% experience and 100% confidence, so we should be good.   

I shall leave you with this . . . it seriously makes me laugh out loud every time.  "Devil's dandruff"  "New England Clam Powder" The SNL skit about the Atlanta snow storm.  You'll have to just copy and past, but I promise it's worth it . . . it's being difficult, like the weather.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Confessing, again!

Can one confess too many dirty secrets?  I think not.  It's best to just put them out there and then let it go.  Not that these are super juicy, but hey . . . tell me yours and I'll tell you mine. 
First up.  I accidentally joined a book club.  And as a general rule, I hate book clubs.  Like I've made fun of my friend Michelle for attending one for years.  But . . . I do love to read.  And I super duper love my friend Brandi, and it was her idea.  So bam, book club member.  
I suppose book clubs are cool because they encourage you to read things that maybe you wouldn't have selected on your own. So I promptly download the first book and sat on it for awhile because I fancy myself a pretty fast reader.  Mis-take.  Here is the book . . . check out the Goodreads summary here!
The title should have been my first clue . . . I got bored after the first 5 words.  It's an interesting story, but way too tedious.  It jumps back and forth from modern day to the past and covers way too many historical details . . . and no sexy time at all.  What the what?  But I'm going to go to Book Club with a smile on my face and see what everyone else has to say.  Not that I care . . . I should probably confess that also.  Want to invite me to your book club?  Clearly I'm a real treat.  

Weekend confession . . . I'm equally as excited about, as I am dreading, the Boy Scout ski trip I'm chaperoning this weekend.  Let's all have a moment and pray that I make it out injury free (my boys too) and with my sanity intact.  Here's hoping this will not be me.  
But can you imagine my car with a bunch of smelly boys after a weekend of skiing?  Yeah, me either.  I've never been on a Boy Scout trip so I thought this would be fun.  I mean, I skied like 25 years ago so I got this, right?!?  The things we do for our children.  
Coffee confession . . . can you believe that I didn't take up drinking coffee until my late 30's?  I just think of all those years I suffered through un-caffeinated.  Imagine . . . 3 babies and then their toddler years . . . all without coffee.  The insanity of it all.  Now I sometimes go to bed excited about my morning cup of coffee.  
I love Brussel spouts.  Is that weird?  Apparently it is because most people start gagging at the mention of those words, including all the men in my family.  I like to roast a batch of them every so often and wait for my boys to get home.  Like yesterday . . . they barely got through the door before they were whining and complaining about the smell.  By that time, I can't even smell them anymore so it just makes me giggle.  
Getzy is out of town this whole week for work so guess what's for dinner?  Beats the shit out of me . . . I'm not cooking!  Whomp!  Don't fret yourself . . . I'm feeding the children.  I'm just not making anything fancy.  Or at all.  Last night one had a frozen pizza, two had ramen noodles  and I had mashed potatoes and Brussel sprouts.  Bam.  Dinnah is served!
I don't even want to confess this but . . . it's true.  I'm trying to keep up with all the ways of social media and I'm failing.  I've got Facebook and Instagram down, but Snapchat and Twitter allude me.  I seriously need to watch a You Tube Video to figure it out.  I would ask my kids, but I will kill them dead if I find out they have either of these accounts.  I could ask their friends though.  But my "handle" is the same every where @getzgirlonfire . . . and by saying handle, I just dated the crap out of myself.  Raise your hand if you know who is Smokey and the Bandit is?  Radio silence.  But hit me up on some social media . . . I'll eventually figure it out!  Let's be (virtual) friends.  

A couple of dog confessions and then I'm out.  By the way, I get started on these confession posts and wonder what I'll say.  And then I get going and have to make myself stop.  
So Abby is like a polar bear and loves this cold weather.  She prefers to sit outside on the covered deck in the cold rather than snuggle up with us in the house.  Well, lucky for her, I forgot to bring her in last night.  I just about died feeling like such a bad dog parent.  It got down to 28 last night.  In all fairness, she loved it.  If she wants in, she will bark to let us know, and it's right below our bedroom window so I always hear her.  But still.  I have shame. 

One of my best friends very generously offered to spend the night at my house this Friday to watch Amanda, but more importantly, be here for Petey.  Since Getzy is out of town until Saturday, and I leave for the ski trip on Friday, I needed help.  I figured I would just cancel being a chaperone, but she offered.  Gah, love her so much.  
Any who, she's sleeping in my bed Friday night because I don't have a guest room.  Well, Petey sleeps in my bed every night.  Of course I would make sure she has clean sheets, but I'm kicking it up a notch and washing my blanket and comforter.  I don't smell dog, but I'd be mortified if she did.  I mean, how often do you wash your comforter?  Maybe a few times a year?  You don't think about this stuff until you look at it from someone else's perspective.  What else do I need to clean?  ZOMG . . . I need to stop.  

Last one . . . my friend gets paid in my friendship (priceless), but Amanda is getting paid $20 to be in charge of Petey from Friday until Saturday when Getzy gets home, and my friend gets to go back to her dog free house!  He's a hot mess most days and deserves his own post but suffice to say, he's a LOT of work and Amanda handles it like a champ.  This is how Amanda will be . . . she loves some chore money!
And that's a wrap . . . linking up with some cool ladies because life is more fun that way!
More Coffee Less Talky

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Fried Pickles and Pie

So when I say fried pickles and pie, you're probably thinking of these mouthwatering delights. 
And technically, yes, these are involved but "fried pickles and pie" means something totally different around these parts.  Instead of saying "the birds and the bees," we now say "fried pickles and pie!"

Amanda is the youngest.  And while I think we've all done a great job of keeping her away from "grown up" content in her life, sometimes it just happens.  Like say when she's watching a Duggar special and one of them is having a home birth.  Or when a maxi pad is left out in the open at school, and the teacher asks the class to please keep these in your purse or desk.  Or her addiction to watching the show Cops (here's looking at you Getzy).  I see the wheels churning in Amanda's brain.  And I know it's time.  Dun, dun, dun.  The talk.  

I got off pretty easy with my boys.  Getzy took each of them out to dinner alone and enlightened them.  He gave me a summary of what he said, obviously, but it's a whole different ball game when it's your turn.  Truth be told, I was kind of excited!  I have always wanted to be the one who tells her so she knows I'm open about it, and she can always talk to me. 
The boys didn't seem curious or have many questions before, so there was no rush, just as long as we got it done before their class, Created by God.  I wrote a pretty good summary about it when my Kyle attended . . . check it out here.  But little Miss Amanda, she is wise beyond her years.  She needed some deets.   
So one day after school in early November, I ask her to pick a restaurant for our talk . . . she knew "it" was coming.  She just wasn't sure what "it" was.  She chose O'Charley's and off we went.  She was very worried about making sure no one was near us so we sat in a little corner all by ourselves.  

To start we ordered the fried pickles . . . her and I both love those.  And nothing says let's have a serious talk about sex like a pickle.  Stop.  That's just rude.  

So I start with basics like estrogen and testosterone making boys and girls different.  Which leads to puberty and changes in our body and emotions.  Which then leads to talks about getting your period.  And that segways nicely into why you have your period . . . as it relates to being pregnant, or not.  And then boom.  How does one get pregnant?  Or again, and more importantly, not get pregnant.
So, yeah.  Seems I hit all the high points.  And then we ordered pie.  She loves the French Silk, and I can't even remember what I got.  I do remember that hers was better.

She actually handled the information like a champ.  It's a lot to take in when you're a kid.  Hell, even when you're an adult.  She had quite a few questions and clarifications for a few days after, and I happily answered them.  But what she really wanted was a "period kit" and a new purse that was grown up looking and fit her "kit."  So we find some tween panty liners and pads, a cute little zip bag and a mature looking new purse that she promptly takes to school the next day.  She felt so grown up.  And I'm all like no, that's my baby.  Make it stop. 
And that brings us to this past weekend.  It was her turn to attend the weekend long "sex ed" class, as my oldest calls it.  I told her that while she pretty much knew most of it, I was sure she would still get lots of good information out of the class.  On the first night, the kids have to draw their faces to show how the felt/looked when they were told about the class.  Here's hers . . .
I love that she wrote "really" on it (it's cut off in the picture).  She actually admitted she was excited to go.  It's kind of been a milestone she's been waiting for in our house.  Whenever something comes up in relation to "fried pickles and pie," her brothers would always say, "Oh, just wait until after your class."  It cracked me up that she came home on Friday after the first class and said, "He didn't really cover anything that juicy."  And I said, "Wait for it."  
Here is that little nugget at the end of the last day.  She ended up having a great time and learning a lot.  She says, "we saw pictures."  For clarification, it was like medical drawings.  Don't get crazy.  And her word for the weekend . . . she always says this in a funny accent. 
For posterity, we posed together.  Getzy was out of town for the last day, but wrote her a sweet note in her book.  I'm so thankful that all three of my kids had this experience.  Amanda went up and thanked the instructor, Dr. J, at the end.  He thanked her for asking lots of great questions.  Oh to be a fly on the wall . . . and can you tell she was thrilled to take a selfie with me.  Not.  

Friday, January 15, 2016

You need a friend from Laos

I didn't know I needed a friend from Laos until I had one!  Anyone scratching their head asking where Laos is located?  Me too.  So here you go . . . Asia.
I met Christy through poker and love her long time.  She promised to make us some traditional Laotian food and came through in a big way.  You pronounce that "lay ocean" . . . I act like I'm all smart but my friends have been working with me on the pronunciation.  I can't even tell you how bad I jacked it up before I practiced.  So I could sound smart, I read this article before arriving.

I head over in time for a noon lunch bell, and it smells amazing when I walk in her house.  She has all this fresh food spread out on her counter top . . . cue mouth watering.  She's got a big, like BIG big, pot of soup boiling on the stove for some Pho.
Now hush, we know Pho is Vietnamese, but it's part of what her family eats so she made it for us.  It's so fun to make yourself a bowl . . . she taught us well.  

So it starts with bean sprouts and then you put in cooked rice noodles.  Then layer in the soup that has meatballs and just cooked steak.  Now it's topping time.  We had loads of fresh herbs and veg . . . tomatoes, onions, mint, basil, cilantro, celery leaves and scallions.  Next up, sauces.  I put some sriracha, hoisin, dried red onion, dried garlic and soy sauce on mine.  I was just throwing stuff on . . . apparently that's how it's done.  And quite frankly, I nailed it.  It was so delicious.  Like super good, and I'm not just being nice for my friend.  
Perhaps I should pay more attention to the lighting. 
She also had some Laos sausage, made by a local woman who is from there.  No clue what's in it or how it's made.  In fact, don't want to know.  It just tasted fabulous.  Like, where can I buy this, amazing!  
We ate it all.  So darn good.
Here's the big batch of sticky rice.  This is literally a staple food in the Laotian culture, eaten at almost every meal.  It's very glutenous so not for those on a paleo diet.  
She even had the traditional basket used for the sticky rice.
Sticky rice can be eaten by itself, or used as a utensil.  After checking out the food article, I texted her to let her know that I was eating with my fingers.  She agreed and this is how we ate the sausage, wrapped nicely in the rice.  Yum.
We also had Larb, which is meat and chopped rice and herbs.  It's eaten like a lettuce wrap or grabbed with the rice and cucumbers. 
For dessert, she had both Lotus cookies and friend bananas.  Both were tasty, but that Lotus cookie.  Stop.  I had half and shared with someone.  Then I got another half because who knew how delicious it would be.  
The shapes and name lotus flower aren't lost on me. *insert teenage boy giggle*
Here are my table mates . . . I love these ladies.  Such easy conversation and friendship.  Thank you Christy for taking the time to make us a fabulous meal, inviting us to your home and sharing your heritage with us.  The food was all so gorgeous and professional looking.  And she made it.  Herself!  Love you girl!  Thanks again!
So that, party people, is why you, too, need a friend from Laos.  Plus it's fun to say Laotian!  Say it with me . . . "lay ocean!"  

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Humpday Confessions

These are my confessions  . . . how much time do we have?  Here we go . . . my current dirty secrets.  
I didn't set any New Year's Resolutions.  Gasp.  I almost feel like a failure.  Key word, almost.  I usually set lofty resolutions because who doesn't love a fresh start?  And then I scrap them because life happens.  It feels quite liberating to not set myself up for a let down later.  I say we should always be improving so I have life resolutions.  Man, that sounds deep.  I'm so zen.
But if I were going to set some, I would just copy Amanda.  She pretty much nailed them!  I think #3 is important.  But #4 is my favorite.  This girl.  She rocks my socks off . . . or should I end with ". . . off my feet" so I don't leave a dangling preposition?  Nah, I'll just let it dangle.  Bam, such a grammar rebel. 
I got "Amanda" Justin Bieber concert tickets for Christmas.  Or maybe she was my excuse to go see Justin.  Guess you'll never know.
I use my kids wallets like my own personal ATM because who has time to go to the bank.  But in all honesty, I write it down like I'm going to put the money back in their wallets.  Then I get sick of the item being on my to do list so I will just transfer money to their savings account.  I never, ever actually "steal" the money.  That would be wrong.  
Why oh why do I have to cook dinner every day?  I want to think I like cooking, but I think I may be lying to myself.  "Cooking" is a loose term that involves menu planning, shopping, chopping, actual cooking and then lots of clean up and pantry organization, am I right?  Where is the fun in that?  There isn't.  But it's required I feed the children so I will press on.  Got any awesome recipes that don't involve a pound of butter or cheese?  It is January after all.  
I hate Girl Scout Cookie season . . . and I'm the Girl Scout leader.  I hate asking, or having Amanda ask, friends and family.  I hate that they are $4 a box.  I hate having to go get the millions of cases, sort them by girl and wait for them to be picked up.  I hate working the cookie booths in the cold.  I hate stressing over having any leftover to be sold when the "season" is over.  And I hate that they come right at prime healthy eating time and taunt me.  So yeah, seems I'm not a fan.  I do have a caveat . . . they provide most of the money we use to do good things, take field trips and buy supplies so I just need to continue to smile and act like it's a fun time.  So, in summary, please buy the damn cookies.  Or donate them . . . that saves you the calories and really helps out those in need.
Why is skin care so hard?  Wah wah.  But seriously.  Most of the time I only clean my face with warm water and a wash cloth.  I suppose I should also confess that most of the time I can't be bothered with make-up.  Aren't I so girly?  When it comes to SPF, I got this.  And shut the hell up about how it doesn't matter if you get more than SPF 30.  I'll buy what I want.  

But for realz.  What skin care products should I use?  Are the cheap Aveeno ones okay?  What order do I put them on?  Isn't it cleanse, tone and moisturize?  But then when do serums, wrinkle creams and eye creams get applied?  What about a chemical peel?  Do I need regular facials?  Skin care is no joke when you're in your forties.  Ugg.  
So speaking of Ugg(s), I generally held the opinion that they weren't that attractive and were mostly for over privileged teen girls.  And then I got a fake pair (Fuggs?) and wore the heck out of them when it was cold.  But errbody says the real Uggs are so much more comfortable, so I caved to the pressure.  
I bought this pair on sale from Nordstrom's.  I must also confess that the plain tall boot felt too snug on my giant calves.  Big muscles?  Probs not.  But you know what?  These things are freaking awesome.  The inside is real wool and they keep my toes so warm, almost too warm at times.  The bottom is super smushy, and they are just comfortable to walk in . . . I even walked the dog wearing them.  Don't hate . . . it was cold!
My final confession is in regards to No Spend January.  What that translates to is No Fun January.  I suppose I've done pretty good, but let's just say I haven't been super strict.  I think I'll go with Spend Less January AND February.  I created my own damn loophole.  That feels good.  
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