Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Fried Pickles and Pie

So when I say fried pickles and pie, you're probably thinking of these mouthwatering delights. 
And technically, yes, these are involved but "fried pickles and pie" means something totally different around these parts.  Instead of saying "the birds and the bees," we now say "fried pickles and pie!"

Amanda is the youngest.  And while I think we've all done a great job of keeping her away from "grown up" content in her life, sometimes it just happens.  Like say when she's watching a Duggar special and one of them is having a home birth.  Or when a maxi pad is left out in the open at school, and the teacher asks the class to please keep these in your purse or desk.  Or her addiction to watching the show Cops (here's looking at you Getzy).  I see the wheels churning in Amanda's brain.  And I know it's time.  Dun, dun, dun.  The talk.  

I got off pretty easy with my boys.  Getzy took each of them out to dinner alone and enlightened them.  He gave me a summary of what he said, obviously, but it's a whole different ball game when it's your turn.  Truth be told, I was kind of excited!  I have always wanted to be the one who tells her so she knows I'm open about it, and she can always talk to me. 
The boys didn't seem curious or have many questions before, so there was no rush, just as long as we got it done before their class, Created by God.  I wrote a pretty good summary about it when my Kyle attended . . . check it out here.  But little Miss Amanda, she is wise beyond her years.  She needed some deets.   
So one day after school in early November, I ask her to pick a restaurant for our talk . . . she knew "it" was coming.  She just wasn't sure what "it" was.  She chose O'Charley's and off we went.  She was very worried about making sure no one was near us so we sat in a little corner all by ourselves.  

To start we ordered the fried pickles . . . her and I both love those.  And nothing says let's have a serious talk about sex like a pickle.  Stop.  That's just rude.  

So I start with basics like estrogen and testosterone making boys and girls different.  Which leads to puberty and changes in our body and emotions.  Which then leads to talks about getting your period.  And that segways nicely into why you have your period . . . as it relates to being pregnant, or not.  And then boom.  How does one get pregnant?  Or again, and more importantly, not get pregnant.
So, yeah.  Seems I hit all the high points.  And then we ordered pie.  She loves the French Silk, and I can't even remember what I got.  I do remember that hers was better.

She actually handled the information like a champ.  It's a lot to take in when you're a kid.  Hell, even when you're an adult.  She had quite a few questions and clarifications for a few days after, and I happily answered them.  But what she really wanted was a "period kit" and a new purse that was grown up looking and fit her "kit."  So we find some tween panty liners and pads, a cute little zip bag and a mature looking new purse that she promptly takes to school the next day.  She felt so grown up.  And I'm all like no, that's my baby.  Make it stop. 
And that brings us to this past weekend.  It was her turn to attend the weekend long "sex ed" class, as my oldest calls it.  I told her that while she pretty much knew most of it, I was sure she would still get lots of good information out of the class.  On the first night, the kids have to draw their faces to show how the felt/looked when they were told about the class.  Here's hers . . .
I love that she wrote "really" on it (it's cut off in the picture).  She actually admitted she was excited to go.  It's kind of been a milestone she's been waiting for in our house.  Whenever something comes up in relation to "fried pickles and pie," her brothers would always say, "Oh, just wait until after your class."  It cracked me up that she came home on Friday after the first class and said, "He didn't really cover anything that juicy."  And I said, "Wait for it."  
Here is that little nugget at the end of the last day.  She ended up having a great time and learning a lot.  She says, "we saw pictures."  For clarification, it was like medical drawings.  Don't get crazy.  And her word for the weekend . . . she always says this in a funny accent. 
For posterity, we posed together.  Getzy was out of town for the last day, but wrote her a sweet note in her book.  I'm so thankful that all three of my kids had this experience.  Amanda went up and thanked the instructor, Dr. J, at the end.  He thanked her for asking lots of great questions.  Oh to be a fly on the wall . . . and can you tell she was thrilled to take a selfie with me.  Not.  


  1. Omg... I hate this stuff! You are an awesome Mom and I am taking notes for my last one. I somehow muddled through the first two the definition of awkward Mom. I can't decide if it's weirder for them to know that Mom and Dad are doing it or that Mom & Dad are doing it with other people lol... #singlemomprobs

  2. This was one of the best posts I've read in a long time. You're also a fantastic mother. My parents just gave me a book and was like there you go.

  3. Ok, wow! THANK YOU! I have wondered how we were going to have 'the talk' with our kids, I love the idea of taking them out for a meal and some one on one time. I've always said that my husband would have the talk w/ the boys and now that we have a daughter I'll take that one on. I just love knowing you were so open and honest. What age is Amanda? We've made mention of a few things with our 4th grade son but haven't dove in completely - not even sure when their health class is on the subject. Anyway, thanks for the post!