Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Let the confessing begin . . .

Well, I haven't done a confession post in awhile so I thought it might be time to let the freak flag fly! Here we go . . . in no particular order!
If you talk to me about where you're from, and I've never been there, I've more than likely planned a vacation to visit there, with YOU of course, in my head!  If you're from another country, especially one where they don't speak English, I've probably already looked up flights.  When you invite me someplace, make sure you mean it because I will show up there, maybe even with a few kids in tow.  #justaskmyfriendsummer #Getzroominsteadofguestroom
Is it weird that I think beets are one of the most delicious foods on the planet?  I like them any way I can get them . . . roasted, pickled, steamed, or boiled.  Bring on the beets.  #didyoujustgag?  #becarefulbecausetheystain  
Why would anyone want a scented deodorant?  Uhm, gross.  No, I don't want to smell like a baby's bottom (powder fresh) nor do I want fruit or flower scented arm pits?  Perhaps it's because my nose is so sensitive, but these scents are overwhelming to me.  Unscented deodorant all day, every day.  #showerfresh  #dontstink
So I guess that's technically not true.  I sometimes forget to wear deodorant.  Or choose not to wear it, depending on the weather and what's going on that day.  And I really only put on one swipe, from top to bottom of course, of my Secret unscented.  I suppose I'm blessed to not be a super odoriferous person.  I do like to sniff occasionally to see if anything has changed.  I am totally fascinated when there is a smell.  I told you these were confessions.  Keeping it real up in here.  #gohome #youregross
Does anyone else get the rage when they get a janky grocery cart?  Wal-Mart is hands down the worst offender.  That's just one of the many reasons Target is a superior shopping experience.  I will turn around to get a new buggy (that's what I really call them) if it is not a smooth ride.  And I will do it more than once.  #upgradeyourshit 
Ironing is stupid.  I will do it if I have to in order to look presentable, but I'd rather not.  Actually I'd rather pay the dry cleaner to do it.  My sons' shorts really need ironing, but dammit, they wear shorts every day and ain't nobody got time for that kind of upkeep.  Except my friend Michelle, but she's mostly a freak anyway.  #loveya #meanit
I know some folks like to keep their blog a secret from their friends and family, but I'm pretty much an open book and DGAF.  In fact, I get sort of annoyed when friends are like, "so what's up lately?" I smile and give them an update, but in my head I'm running the gamut of thoughts and emotions . . . Don't you read my blog?  I thought we were friends?  Maybe they haven't had time?  Maybe they don't care?  Is it too self serving?  Am I an attention whore?  Do they even like me?  I should just quit writing since nobody reads it.  Wait, I'm doing it for me, right?  Right.  Calm down, they cared enough to ask about life so of course you're friends.  Aww, that's so sweet.  I love you so much!  #nutjob #fullcircle #getajob #likemypageonFB
Are your kids picky eaters?  Mine aren't too bad, but my boys have never liked beans.  I have to get dinner for Ryan and his girlfriend the other night, and they decided to share nachos.  Cute, right?  Uh huh.  So I'm asking them what they want on their nachos and his girlfriends says black beans, and Ryan is all like, "yeah, that's fine.  I like those."  I'm looking at him like WTF?  I don't say anything, but he's never willingly eaten beans in his life.  Kinda makes me want to serve him a big bowl of black bean soup.  #what? #ithoughtyoulikedbeans 
Speaking of Ryan . . . he texts me last night while I'm a poker to ask me to take a few friends to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast.  And he kind of needs an answer quickly.  Little turd.  So I agree, begrudgingly.  Because I'm a sucka.  Then he asks me to pick up FIVE kids in different neighborhoods.  I told him by the time I got everyone, there wouldn't be time to eat.  Sorry mom.  

So this morning I only have to pickup 3 kids, which still took me 25 minutes.  Then I get to CFA and there's another (very nice) dad dropping off his daughter but needs to leave for work.  I look around and count 10 kids plus myself that need a ride to school.  My swagger wagon holds 8. DAFUQ?  So I call my friend Michelle to see if she could swing by . . . she can't but her rage hits the off the charts level for me, which was kind of funny btw.  So I decide to take 2 car loads to school.  Girls first because it seems better to leave my own kid unattended.  Sounds legit, right? Except I forgot to factor in the stupid of teenage boys who decide the play area would be fun when I left.  Uh huh.  Sad truth, my kid isn't even afraid to see me this afternoon.  He will be all like I love you mom, and I'll let it go.  He makes straight A's okay?  #dontjudge #ineedaduggarvan
My level of dumb ass doesn't stop there.  I forgot that I agreed to pick up Kyle's friends after a band concert tonight and take them to CFA for a late dinner until my friend Carin texted me to double check.  Thanks Carin!  So I text Kyle a message to send to all his friends with my intent to take them and my cell phone.  Preemptive measures were necessary after this morning.  #illbeboredwhentheygotocollege #andrested

That's all I got today.  I'm thinking that's enough for you to handle this go round!  I'm linking up with the lovely Kathy, Nadine, Laura and Lauren because crazy is best served with {virtual} friends!
More Coffee Less Talky

#Hashtaghumpday @ Genuinely Lauren


  1. Omg... you are such the better Mom than me. I cannot handle that many kids at once. Head exploding! But now I really, really want Chick Fil A!

  2. Good lord I could reply to every one of these.

    Sometimes I get annoyed when asked what I'm up to...I've written it all down, you should check it out. LOLOL

    I always think about visiting people I don't really know if they live in places I've never been.

    Deoderant...I am a secret clinical user, have been for years, and I sort of forget why I went to them but it's never failed me.

  3. kayla is a fantastic eater and i love it! i love that she's open to try all kinds of food; she eats squid, chicken hearts/giblets, weird dimsum stuff!!

  4. OMG, I love this! You 100% are the COOLEST mom on the planet! Your kids are so lucky - you're a mom and a friend, that's so awesome!

    Ok, Matthew McConaughy, the deodorant thing had me scrunching up my nose! Ha ha! And if the Matthew thing doesn't make sense let me know, I'll explain it to you. :)

    Picky eaters - Aiden would eat a tin can if I served it for supper. That kid eats everything, and lots of it. I wish I had that metabolism back! Bren, so-so. He's 'the picky one' if I had to label them. And OMG, I would so throw my kid under the bus in front of their GF for that one, ha ha!!!

    Another great post. They all always make me so happy I found you! Or, actually, that you found me first. :)

  5. I swear, I have a secret talent for ALWAYS, and I mean EVERY single time, picking the shopping cart with some horrendous wheel situation that makes it practically undriveable. And then I look like an idiot trying to turn the corner or nearly steering into the walls because the thing takes on a life of its own. Every store I go to, there's no escaping it.

  6. I love playing tour guide in Sydney, so add Australia to the wishlist (if you haven't been here). Kids in tow are fine. It gives me another excuse to visit the zoo or wildlife park. Plus, Australians loves beets. They regularly come on hamburgers. I hate 'em, but you can enjoy all the beets you want here.

  7. Unscented antiperspirant all the way! LOL! I tell ya, some of these I feel as if I could have written! Fun read!

  8. Amy, I swear you are my long lost sista, like saying what I feel in of these!! I'm literally tearing up from laughter and my head is nodding yep, yep and yep!! I only wear deodorant about half the week and in honor of you, I'm not wearing it today and I will sniff occasionally just to check! If I was a publisher, I'd so give you a book deal right here and now!!

  9. I really like beets too! Also, you made me really want Chick-fil-A! Haha. :)

  10. haha i don't tell my friends about my blog for that reason, i don't want to think hey why aren't you reading my blog?! my 3 friends know about it, only because one found it accidentally, and occasionally they will comment or text me, but i don't want fringe friends to know because it will be weird.
    i laughed so hard at #Getzroominsteadofguestroom
    fuck ironing.
    so i don't exactly know what beets are? is that like beetroot? cause if so i can eat beetroot every damn day. it is amazing, and super super popular at home. like on hamburgers. yum.