Friday, March 11, 2016

Skiing with the Boy Scouts!

Remember that postponed ski trip with the Boy Scouts?  Well, it came to be this weekend.  It kind of snuck up on me so I was running around like a fool getting ready come Friday.  

I loaded my car with my favorite boys and off we went.  We were packed in like sardines with all the gear and food, but they all agreed my minivan is pretty swaggy and comfortable.  Duh.  Plus, they got to watch movies and listen to stupid loud music so I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm the cool mom.  Not cool enough to allow R-rated movies, but still pretty fantastic.  

We didn't leave until dusk so the entire 4 hour trip was in the dark, which is super fun on winding mountain roads.  Except that is a lie.  

So we are chugging along after a pit stop where the boys fueled up on soda and crap, and the mountain climb with double back roads begins.  They boys are watching Happy Gilmore, and I've got my head phones in jamming out. I hear a commotion so I ask what's wrong, and it's announced that Kyle, who is in the middle of the third row, is going to barf.  Awesome.

So the movie goes off, the windows go down and there is literally NO WHERE to stop.  I can't even pull off on the shoulder . . . because we would plunged to our death.  Kyle's buddy Trenton is trying to talk him through . . . "you got this man, you're gonna be okay, just hang on . . ."  And Dylan says, "My mom told me to pack plastic bags for no reason, want one of those?"  ZOMG yes!  So he tells Tanner, the kid next to Kyle, how to reach them.  Tanner pulls one out, opens the Ziploc and hands it to Kyle who, like a boss, waited until he had a receptacle to empty himself.  

Know what my oldest was doing during all this?  Texting his girlfriend.  Freaking yahoo.  I guess he figured everyone else handled it so he'd just chillax.  And then make fun of his brother.  

I finally find a pull off a couple of miles up and like a beacon in the night, I see an open trashcan. Kyle hands me the evidence of too much grape Fanta and without looking, I run it to the garbage. I ask Kyle if we needed to move him to the front but he giggles, wipes his mouth and says, "Nah, I got this!"  Freaking hysterical.  Getzy and I call that a "boot and rally!"

Off we go again and all was well until my dirty whore GPS decides that it's more fun for a mom and 5 teenage boys to climb a freaking sketchy mountain dirt road than get to her proper destination. There was a dirt road in the written directions so I thought she was right, but nope.  Mother trucker. But Trenton and Tanner had cell service and mad skillz and between the two of them, they talked me down off the mountain, literally, and got me to the right house.  
The rental house is up on a hill so the driveway was pretty steep and rutted.  I turn to head up it and get about half way before my tires start to lose their grip.  The boys are yelling encouragement and screaming "lean forward" and at this point, I'm just laughing my ass off.  So I kick them out, back up a little and hit the skinny pedal.  Gerti Van Dirty, that's my swagger wagon's proper name, goes all Miley Cyrus and makes "the climb!"  I may have smelled some nasty car smells, but she's driving fine now so she recovered nicely.  

Here's where I need to stop and tell you just how much I adore the boys that went with me.  I've known them all for what seems like ever and while they are still teenage boys, they are amazing kids.  They are polite, hysterical, smart, resourceful, encouraging and all around good boys, my own included.  I'm almost teary eyed just thinking about how blessed I am that I got to experience this trip with them.  

Moving on . . . they would totally make fun of me for getting sappy.  So we get up way too early Saturday morning and have breakfast.  There were 18 boys total and 4 adults, but we managed to get out of the house right on schedule!    

We head to the Cataloochee Ski Area to get our fun on.  (Quite franky, who doesn't love to say anything with an "oochee" in it?) Guess who was the keeper of the paperwork for everyone?  Duh. The Group Sales lady was lovely so we pay and head over to get our rentals.  I'm like a pack mule of stuff, plus my ski rentals, so when several kids asked me to hold their shoes, I may, or may not, have mumbled a few cuss words and told them a firm "not gonna happen."  
Proof that my heart was barreling down the mountain . . . these boys.  
Everyone is geared up and waiting for their lesson . . . we had about half and half for skiing versus snowboarding.  I'm trying to come down from my stress high of getting everyone sorted and freaking out about my two sons on snowboards barreling down a mountain.  They all take off, and I sit quietly by myself at a picnic table.  

Why am I not skiing yet, you ask?  Because I'm old.  And afraid.  Oh, and it was hot, and I don't handle hot and stressed together very well.  So I took a minute to myself.  I wasn't like yelling and fussing stressed . . . it was making sure all these kids had what they needed and then fretting over them getting hurt.  For most of them, this was their first time ever skiing or snowboarding.  

Once I settle down, I go get my skis and give the bunny slope a couple of tries. I successfully made it down so I meander over to the "easy" ski lift and hitch a ride with a Ski Patrol gentleman and a little girl.  Annnddd, they are taking a woman off the mountain who "tweaked" her knee.  That's the main ski injury they see, he says.  Uh, okay.  
Picture proof that it happened . . . since no one actually saw me. 
I don't fall off the ski lift, nor do I create a commotion when I ski off at the end.  Winning!!  So I stand, at the top of the slope, the easy slope mind you, and pause to get my courage.  And then I ski down it.  And I didn't fall (*pats self on back*).  I get to the bottom and think to myself, I'm supposed to do that again?  Buy my record is 100% awesome, and I don't want to ruin it.  

So like the daredevil that I am, I promptly walk over to the lodge and stowed my skis for the rest of the day.  I could not wait to get those awful boots off and give my shins a break.  If Getzy's family is reading this (they are all from Maine) . . . I'm pretty sure they just excommunicated me from their circle.  I love you all, and it was great knowing you.  But I understand.  My knee thanks me for it though.

Moving on from my shame . . . I'm proud to announce that my boys did phenomenal.  Like super awesome.  Little shredders.  In fact, all the boys did amazing.  It's so easy to learn when you're young and fearless.  Kids are pretty bouncey too apparently . . . I wouldn't have been able to walk after all the falling and getting back up they did.  
Ryan tearing down the slopes . . . crazy boy!
A couple of them were discouraged after their morning lesson, but after just giving it a go on the mountain, everyone got the hang of it.  I expressly forbid my boys to do any Black Diamond runs. Ryan listened.  Kyle, yeah, he rolled up in to the lodge to announce he'd just nailed it, along with his best buddy Trenton.  Punks.  Thank God they were standing safe and sound in front of me when I found out . . . otherwise he may not have lived to tell about it.  
Kyle and his partner in Black Diamond crime, Trenton.  Suckas.  
I will say Kyle is a total suck up because he went to get a snack (with my money, but whatevs) and brought me back my favorite candy as a peace offering.  That kid is lucky he's cute.  And thoughtful.  
The boys were talking up a storm on the way back to the house about much they loved snowboarding, and how they wanted to go more often.  They also talked about how people think scouting is uncool . . . and while they admit some of the kids are dorks (as they are in any organization), the life lessons and adventures are awesome.  Proud mom moment.

On the way to the house, we encounter a donkey . . . for reals.  You kind of have to say it in your head like Shrek does . . . "Donkay!!"  Even better is the fact that he "hee hawed" at us and followed us down the fence.  I had to stop and say hello.  We also promised to see him with goodies the next morning.  
Is he not the cutest thing you ever did see?  Yes, the donkey is cute too!  
And remember the crack-a-lackin' driveway?  I warned the boys to hold on as soon as I turned up it and just hit the gas.  We made it with the car full and them all screaming encouragement. Hysterical.

Saturday evening was mostly uneventful with the exception of the "chocolate caper."  Suffice it to say, there were plenty of s'mores ingredients, minus the necessary chocolate bars. And investigation ensued and life lessons were discussed.

Sunday morning was up and at them.  Scouts had to clean up all their gear, be dressed and ready to go before doughnut disbursement . . . surprisingly effective motivation, if I do say so myself! And to be clear, I'm happy to "camp" with the scouts again when these are my accommodations. 
We said a final goodbye to the geese and ducks with leftover biscuits and snagged some apples for our donkey friend!  These boys all make me smile.  What a delight to get to get to make these memories with my boys.  
And yes, it took me all week to write this.  I'm tired.  My old dog is wearing me out on top of all the day to day stuff to do.  Happy Weekending everyone . . . make it a good one!  
Here's a big birthday shout out to one of my favorite people that I've known since the 4th grade and Junior Girl Scouts.  We may not see each other often, but she knows I love her like a sister and would do anything for her.  Cheers Karin!


  1. Oh my god! Love you! And so happy to make it into your blog. Thank you - miss you so much!

  2. I smiled the whole way through reading this! Makes me excited to spend time w/ my boys and their friends as they get older!

  3. for some reason, i thought moms weren't allowed on boy scout stuff (idk where i got that from??), so i think this is awesome!! and kudos for taking a group of teen boys on a trip and surviving. bless your heart! i couldn't do it! glad everyone had a good time, puke and all. ;) i am not a skiier. i'm too old!

  4. This post made me happy. Being a former Girl Scout, teen boys mama and yes, donkey rider,,,,twice, I could so relate!! Our winter was unusually mild and the boys never got to go snowboarding. You my friend are the COOL mom indeed and that pic of Kyle and the donkey belongs on a magazine cover, so stinkin cute! Oh and my kinda camping, think we could sneak in the cocktails? Lol